Oh how it lives all in my head.
all in my head.
The fear, the isolation, the guardedness, the solitude,
The silent killer.
My friend, my enemy, my lover, my own creation.
So many appearances to upkeep and yet the disguises are falling one by one. Withering away with my mental strength. With depression you fight this endless battle. Infinite and tiring, it tears you apart. Limb for limb, until there’s no will left.
And for you, my love.
For you, I fight.
not for your happiness, but for mine.
Because you’re my only chance at redemption. Of finding the grace I once knelt too. Without you, I am lost. Inside myself I find a lifetime of solitude and with you I find memories of a rain that brought life and not death.
A sun that doesn’t scorch but brings pleasant warmth
A wind that pushes you forward, instead of backwards.
But my sickness is now affecting you.I see its toll. the third wheel to our relationship.
I know its familiarity all too well.
And so I ask myself; do I save you and kill myself in the process?
Or will we both be consumed by the pestilence growing inside our mind?